A Runner's Dilemma

Sometimes I really feel like I am losing it.  I have so much going on in my life that I am finding it hard to keep it all straight.  The worst part of it is that I have scheduled races and then later agree to do something else with friends or family.  When I realize the conflict I feel terribly embarrassed that I didn't keep my calendar straight. This is especially problematic when it comes to the Jewish Holidays because they are based on the lunar calendar.  And I should know to check the Jewish calendar before scheduling anything because the holidays move around on the secular calendar.

For the second time in my life, I have agreed to do something without double checking all of the calendars.  I will be running the Ragnar Michigan Relay this September on Yom Kippur.  Doh!  The last time I did something stupid like this was when I with two of my friends put our names in Mount Whitney trail-permit lottery.  We were lucky enough to have our names picked.  The unfortunate thing was that the 2 days we were allowed to hike to the summit fell on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur.  What unfortunate luck.

I couldn't decided what to do.  I really wanted to hike to the top of Mt. Whitney (a bucket list item) but I had never missed being in temple on Yom Kippur which is probably the most important holiday of the Jewish year.  If I did go on the hike, I wondered if I should I fast which is a traditional Yom Kippur observance.  I kept going back and forth for about a week.  Then I decided I should just go and speak with my Rabbi and see what he would say.  Maybe he would make the decision for me.

I went to the temple and met with my Rabbi and explained the predicament I was in.  I figured that I would get a lecture about the importance of the holiday and that I should be in temple on the holiest  day of the year asking for forgiveness from G-d.   Instead I had an extremely open and honest discussion around the meaning of the holiday and how hiking to the top the highest summit in the contiguous United States could actually bring me closer to Him. As the Rabbi said, "You'll be at 14,505 ft which is that much closer to Heaven." I never imagined that I would basically be given permission to go by my Rabbi.

As I look back on that conversation, I realized that what the Rabbi was telling me is that G-d does not require me to connect with Him only in the temple.  Sure we Jews have ensconced ourselves in our traditions including attending services to protect us from contemplating Torah's true contemporary relevance.  My wife and I enjoy going to services at our temple.  But the truth is that we don't have to affiliate with a temple in order to live Jewish lives.  G-d is all in things and ever present.  So my hike on Yom Kippur actually placed me squarely into His creation.  During those two days, I meditated and read from the High Holiday Siddur finding G-d through my observation of nature.  As King David said in Psalms 8:4, God is can be found in nature: "When I see Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, I am inspired to realize my insignificance in relationship to God, Who is overwhelming."

Here I was again faced with a dilemma - run with my relay team or stay home and go to temple.  In the end there was really no choice.  I was going to run.  You see running is very spiritual for me.  It is my time to feel alive and connected to the world around me.  Connection with my physical senses allows me to learn more about myself and just what gifts G-d has given me.  As a runner, I am more affected by what I see, hear, touch, smell, and taste than by what I have learned these past 55 years.  Therefore G-d becomes more real and intense for me through my running. If you had asked me back when I came to Judaism if I believed in G-d, I would have said I don't know.  But today, I would say yes without a doubt.

I know that I will still spiritually connect with G-d on Yom Kippur this year.  As I run each of the legs of the relay, I will be thinking about the list of final judgment questions that we Jews contemplate on the Day of Atonement.  I will review the transgressions I committed this year (including skipping Yom Kippur services) and find ways to change myself to do a better job of living my life with  purpose, goodness, and worth and hopefully achieve a sense of peace within myself.  And that is what the High Holidays are really about.  I have learned that Judaism is not simply a shopping list of do’s and don’ts.   I choose to live my Jewish life as a way to constantly improve my character to ultimately attain the inner peace of becoming my best and truest self.

 June 19 – 5.50 miles (56:50, 10:20 pace) - Hill Repeats
June 20 – 6.30 miles (55:37, 8:50 pace) - Speed Work
June 22 – 8.40 miles (1:14:29, 8:52 pace) - Tempo Run
June 23 – 5.20 miles (45:53, 8:50 pace)
June 24 – 7.50 miles (1:10:10, 9:21 pace)
June 26 – 7.20 miles (1:03:49, 8:52 pace) - Mile Repeats
June 29 – 4.10 miles (40:32, 9:53 pace)
June 30 – 5.20 miles (46:50, 9:01 pace)
July 1 – 8.20 miles (1:16:39, 9:21 pace)
July 2 – 8.20 miles (01:17:25, 9:26 pace)

Total Miles:  65.8 miles
2017 Total Miles:  934.3 miles

Father's Day Thoughts

For those few people who follow my musings here, I have to apologize for not writing since mid-May.  It isn't that I haven't had anything on my mind about life and running.  I simply have been extremely busy.  Besides my every day job, work travel and family obligations, I have been performing in a local community theater production of "My Man Godfrey".  It hasn't kept me from my running routine.  But it has kept me away from the keyboard.

I am posting this on Father's Day.  I am a father of two beautiful children who constantly amaze me with their sense of justice and love for their fellow man.  They approach life without prejudice.  They care about the environment and how they can help preserve it for future generations.  They both had the courage to chase their dreams and as adults are living out their dreams.  I couldn't be prouder.

As I reflect on how they turned out, it dawned on me that it was due in large part to the way my wife and I raised them.  We chose to raise them in the same way we were brought up way back in the dark ages of the 60s and 70s.  The most important thing we learned from our parents was that children desire from their parents an even hand, balance, accountability, and discipline all wrapped up in unconditional love.   A parent who is consistent and clearly defines the boundaries will have children who take responsibility for themselves and their life.  Without these two things, it is very hard to grow up.

We also raised our children to leave our nest.  I see so many families that struggle with allowing their children to fly on their own.  The trend has been "helicopter parenting".  As a parent, I want my children to never have to feel hurt or fear.  But they will never be able to be fully functioning members of our society if they don't experience some setbacks along the way to teach them that they can persevere.  I know that by giving them the freedom to explore their world that they were well equipped to leave home and to establish their own lives.  As I see them in their lives now, I know we did the right thing.

Finally, both my wife and I taught our children to love life in all its forms.  We had our ups and downs.  But through it all, we laughed and loved a lot.  They say that the best predictor of happiness is simply being satisfied with what you have and where you are in life.  It doesn't mean you can't strive to be more successful, have more money, or even more things.  But we wanted our children to know that material things will not bring you happiness.  Instead happiness and fulfillment come from love, hope, peace, and relationships.

I wish all of the fathers out there a great day filled with love and laughter.  Happy Father's Day.

May 15 – 5.20 miles (45:48, 8:49 pace)
May 16 – 6.20 miles (54:53, 8:51 pace) - Speed Work
May 18 – 7.20 miles (1:04:54, 9:10 pace) - Tempo Run
May 20 – 6.20 miles (54:27, 8:47 pace)
May 25 – 7.20 miles (1:04:47, 9:10 pace) - Tempo Run
May 26 – 5.10 miles (45:07, 8:51 pace)
May 27 – 7.20 miles (1:03:27, 9:44 pace)
May 28 – 7.30 miles (1:06:43, 9:08 pace) - Speed Work
May 29 – 5.20 miles (54:51, 10:33 pace) - Hill Repeats
May 30 – 6.20 miles (54:53, 8:51 pace) - Speed Work
June 1 – 8.20 miles (1:12:55, 8:53 pace) - Tempo Run
June 2 – 5.10 miles (44:55, 8:41 pace)
June 3 – 4.10 miles (36:50, 8:59 pace)
June 4 – 10.30 miles (1:31:23, 9:47 pace)
June 6 – 4.20 miles (37:34, 8:57 pace)
June 8 – 8.20 miles (1:12:54, 8:53 pace) - Tempo Run
June 9 – 5.10 miles (44:44, 8:46 pace)
June 10 – 7.20 miles (1:07:06, 9:19 pace)
June 11 – 8.20 miles (1:15:45, 9:14 pace)
June 12 – 5.10 miles (53:53, 10:34 pace) - Hill Repeats
June 13 – 6.20 miles (54:47, 8:50 pace) - Speed Work
June 14 – 8.20 miles (1:13:00, 8:54 pace) - Tempo Run
June 15 – 5.50 miles (47:01, 8:33 pace)
June 16 – 10.10 miles (1:34:02, 9:19 pace)

Total Miles:  158.7 miles
2017 Total Miles:  868.5 miles

Golden Gate Relay 2017

On May 5th, I flew to San Francisco to participate in my 12th Adventure Relay - The Golden Gate Relay. If you have been reading my blog for some time, you know that running is my sport and my passion. Last November I completed my 9th marathon in New York City.  But I can truly say that I have made some of my best and closest friends through these crazy relays.  What I have found is that that my teammates and I are friends for life because we experienced a connection like no other.  Our experience in these relays is unique not only because of the quantity of time we spent together, but because of the quality of the time we have enjoyed. I would fly anywhere in the world to run with these dear friends.

The Golden Gate Relay course runs from Napa to Santa Cruz.  They say that it starts in Calistoga.  But that is not true.  Only teams that can run the entire course from Calistoga at an average pace of 6:30 per mile or better are allowed to run the entire course.  This was a bit of a disappointment because it meant that Van 1 would only run 2 legs each.  To compensate for that they allow the team to have 6 runners run over the Golden Gate Bridge (Leg 18).  The race also allows walking teams which is not something I have seen.

This was a strange rely compared to the others I have run.  While it was a beautiful course, I have to say the organization was a little too loose for me.  When we checked in at the Napa starting area, they didn't ask us to show the safety gear (reflective vests, tail lights and headlamp) and there was no safety training like at Ragnar.  They simply asked if we had them.  They were also supposed to have
pre-printed signs for the back of the van saying "Caution Runner on Road".  This was so teams like ours could purchase them instead of trying to bring another thing in our luggage.  They had run out.  So we took a sharpie and wrote it on a piece of poster board they gave us.  I knew that we would follow all of the safety rules since we are an experienced team.  But throughout the race, we saw many teams not following the rules.

Based on the change in where we would start, we were only going to run 30 legs instead of 36 because we were not a competitive team.  Our start time was  2:30 p.m.  The race did start on time. Our van was not going to run until very late in the evening.  We headed out to the exchange area in Petaluma at the Marin French Cheese Factory.  When we arrived we purchased some cheese and a baguette and had a little picnic while we waited.  Van 2 arrived at the exchange around 7:25 p.m. We had arrived in San Francisco at 11:30 a.m. on Friday.  Our 12th runner Alan cruised in at a blistering 7:05 pace and handed it off to Rae.   Van 1 was finally running 32 hours after arriving in the Bay Area for the race.

Rae, Kayleigh, Brian and Jennifer all had great runs on their first leg.  With the change in the start and the fact that Nathan's knee had been bothering him leading up to the race, I had decided to run 2 legs back to back so I could run over the Golden Gate Bridge with Nathan.  The route was not well marked and a little scary as I was the only runner out on the course it seemed.  When I finally made it to the exchange, Nathan joined me and we ran together.  It was a very hilly route up to the bridge.  Just before the bridge Rae and Brian joined us.  I have to say that no matter how I feel about the race, the run over the Golden Gate Bridge near midnight was spectacular.  We milked it for all we could until we finally reached the end. We stopped to take a few photos and generally just loved the sheer pleasure of running in a place we wouldn't normally run.

Unfortunately, we missed the turn to the exchange.  There were no signs showing us where to turn to find the tunnel under the bridge to the exchange.  We did disturb a few raccoons who were looking for food.  As we looked around to try and find the right direction including reviewing the leg map we had been carrying, we finally heard someone call us and point us the right way.  We handed off to Van 2 at 12:58 a.m.  I had covered 11 miles at an average pace of 10:16 per mile.  I was not particularly happy with my overall pace but we were done for now.  We headed down to the next major exchange to get some rest before our final leg.

It was difficult to sleep in the van because it was pretty cold.  We finally got the call at around 4:30 a.m. that they were on their way to the exchange.  The problem was, the directions were not clear as to where the actual exchange was located.  After a lot of texting back and forth, we finally found it.  We cut it pretty close though.  Alan came flying in at 5:28 a.m. having averaged a 7:17 per mile pace.  He was definitely our speediest runner.  Rae took off and we were off and running for the final time.

My second (third) leg was going to be difficult.  3 miles uphill with no relief.  And at a 7% grade.  I wanted to run as much of it as I could since I had trained for the hills.  I ran the first 1/2 mile and was getting my heart rate up to high.  So I decided to do a run/walk routine.  I would run for 1/2 mile and walk a 1/4 mile.  That worked for the first 2 miles.  However, during the last mile I was getting gassed.  So I just ran/walked until 3/10 of a mile from the exchange.  I ran the last part and was greeted with a team tunnel.  That is why I love running these races...the team camaraderie.  I was glad to be done.  My leg had gained 1,292 feet over that 3 mile hill.  I am not sure I could have run the entire thing no matter how much hill training I had done.  I am a little bummed about not having my heart rate monitor on this one.  I am sure my heart rate got up into the red zone several times when I was running on the hill.

We were done.  Van 2 took over and had to cover 32.8 miles before we all would run over the finish line together.  After a nice lunch in Santa Cruz, we got word that Alan was on the road and moving fast.  We met Van 2 about 200 yards from the finish line planning to run across it together.  Apparently Alan had forgot about us and blew right by on his way to the finish line.  We tried to keep up with him.  But his overall pace for the last 10K was 6:46 per mile.  We all got there and high fived before heading over to get our medals.

Overall, the team finished in 60th place out of 134 teams  which was relatively fast given the topography of this race.  In the Open division of the race we placed 32nd out of 88 teams.  In the Open Mixed division (teams with women) we had placed 9th out of 44 teams.  No matter how you slice it we had a great race.  The official time per the race director was 24:14:35 which was a team 9:05 per mile pace.

If you have never run an adventure relay, I would not recommend this being your first one unless you live in the Bay Area.  I am not sure I would recommend it to an experience relay team.  It is an absolutely beautiful but grueling course.  If I had to do it again, I would have only brought 10 runners and divided the 30 legs up evenly.  Our team definitely had a great time and is already asking about the next race.  I guess we will have to figure out where we are going to run in the fall.  Until then, I am going to take it slow and ease back into a good training routine once the soreness subsides.

Apr. 17 – 5.20 miles (56:47, 10:55 pace) - Hill Repeats
Apr. 18 – 6.30 miles (54:59, 8:44 pace) - Speed Work
Apr. 20 – 8.40 miles (1:14:07, 8:49 pace) - Tempo Run
Apr. 21 – 5.20 miles (45:02, 8:40 pace)
Apr. 22 – 10.10 miles (1:28:07, 8:44 pace)
Apr. 23 – 9.40 miles (1:26:49, 9:14 pace)
Apr. 24 – 6.20 miles (1:00:21, 9:44 pace) - Hill Repeats
Apr. 26 – 3.10 miles (23:52, 7:42 pace) - Speed Work
Apr. 28 – 5.20 miles (46:25, 8:56 pace)
Apr. 29 – 11.10 miles (1:35:48, 8:38 pace)
Apr. 30 – 8.30 miles (1:14:45, 9:00 pace) - Speed Work
May 3 – 5.20 miles (43:42, 8:24 pace)
May 4 – 3.10 miles (27:20, 8:49 pace)
May 6 – 11.00 miles (1:43:29, 9:26 pace) - Golden Gate Relay Leg 17 & 18
May 7 – 3.00 miles (38:21, 12:47 pace) - Golden Gate Relay Leg 30
May 11 – 4.10 miles (35:02, 8:32 pace)
May 14 – 5.10 miles (43:45, 8:35 pace)

Total Miles:  106.0 miles
2017 Total Miles:  709.8 miles

My Three Boston Experiences Have Made Me a Better Runner

Tomorrow is the 122st Boston Marathon.  I have had the honor to run this storied race on three different occasions.  While I didn't get into the race by running a Boston Qualifier time, I still felt that I belonged there.  I felt that way because I logged the miles in training necessary to carry me the entire 26.2 miles to the finish line in Boston.  I was able to run the Boston Marathon as a charity runner with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge team.  I have fond memories of each of my three Bostons.  Each one was a different and unique experience.

As I read the Facebook posts of my runner friends who will be running the race this year, I actually felt jealous that I will not be there.  I started to think about the need to have another Boston Marathon experience.  My experiences made me think of Emile Zatopek's famous quote, "If you want to run, run a mile. If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon."  I can honestly say that my life has changed so much since I ran my first marathon in 2000.  But my three Bostons actually had more of an influence on my life.

It probably seems strange that three races could have a profound impact on an indivual.  But they did.  I was able to experience the joy of reaching a lifetime goal that seemed somewhat unrealistic.  I learned that I could persevere by overcoming a severe setback and still finish the race.  And I was able to push my body to its absolute limit and cross the finish line with a smile on my face.  In the last two cases, I was able to dig deep and find out just what I am made of when it comes to overcoming adversity.  The first experience showed that dedication and hard work can produce amazing results.

In 2009 I decided that I wanted to run the Boston Marathon.  I was living in Massachusetts not far from the starting line.  I found that I could get into the race if I raised money for a charity.  I chose to raise money for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.  I had found a brand new training program (Brooks Hanson) and decided that I would use it to help me properly prepare to run a strong race.  My initial hope was that it would allow me to set a PR which meant I had to run faster than 4:25:03.  I had four months to get ready and would have to train through the New England winter.

I got to the starting line on April 20, 2009 in the best shape of my life.  I felt excited about being able to run this great marathon.  Deep down I felt like I could set a PR and was hoping to run it in about 4:15:00.  You can read my detailed report in my April 21, 2009 entry.  Looking back 8 years later, I now know that what happened that day was a fortuitous confluence of circumstances that allowed me to not only reach my goal but to absolutely crush it finishing in a sub-4 hour time.  While I always wanted to run a sub-4 hour marathon, I never thought it would happen.  On that day, my training, health, attitude and weather all fell perfectly into place.  The planets aligned and the circumstances allowed me to achieve more than I could have imagined when I started on my journey to the finish line.

My second Boston experience was the complete opposite.  The morning of April 16, 2012 was one of the warmest days in Boston Marathon history.  As I headed to the starting line, I knew that my hopes of repeating a sub-4 hour finish was not going to be in the cards.  Again there was a fortuitous confluence of circumstances that aligned to make that race one of the hardest I would ever experience.  How I responded to those circumstances helped me find out that I could overcome any limitations placed in front of me.

As the Scottish philosopher and historian David Hume said, “He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper; but he is more excellent who can suit his temper to any circumstances.” On that day, despite my hope that the circumstances would change and allow me to run the race the way I had trained for, I could not control the fact that the heat would not allow it.  When I reached the finish line in 4:49:00, I learned firsthand that I can only control my response to the prevailing circumstances and in that way achieve a better result than would normally be expected.

On my final Boston Marathon, I experienced something that I had never imagined could happen to me.  I sustained an injury in the middle of the race that would normally force a runner to pull out of the race and not cross the finish line.  However, I was determined to not let that happen to me.  I had trained so hard for that race.  I felt really confident that I was going to be able to run my second sub-4 marathon.  As I hung around the corrals with my Dana Farber teammates, I was feeling great.  Nothing indicated that I wouldn't have a great race.  The temperature was perfect and I was ready to run well.

You can read a detailed report on exactly what happened in my May 4, 2014 entry.  I will never forget the pain I felt at mile 16 when my right hamstring gave out.  All I could think about at the time was that I had to continue and finish the race.  My experience in 2012 told me that my body could take the punishment.  There was a nagging doubt arising in my mind but I told myself to relax and focus on landmarks I knew were coming.  I used the crowd and other runners to help pull me along.  Finally, I shifted my focus on my upper body motion to distract me from the pain in my right leg.  All I thought about was crossing the finish line in victory which finally happened 4:57:09 after the gun went off.

When I am running a race now, I draw on these three experiences to help me be successful.  Instead of thinking of the last two Bostons race as failures, I think of them as learning experiences.  Everything that went wrong were simply feedback.  I know bad races happen.  It is just the nature of running road races.  I now know that I can take those experiences and use them to figure out how to make the next one better.  I try to use the newly gained perspectives to make future races better.  Running is a huge part of my life.  Since I am far from being an elite runner, I never let setbacks influence my joy of participating in the sport.  I run to bring joy into my life.  This means that I can never let a bad race kill that joy.  In the end, I just love the feeling of accomplishment when I cross the finish line no matter how long it took me to get there.

Mar. 27 – 6.30 miles (54:48, 8:42 pace)
Mar. 28 – 5.10 miles (51:50; 10:10 pace) - Hill Repeats
Mar. 30 – 3.10 miles (31:08, 10:03 pace)
Apr. 1– 8.20 miles (1:14:08, 9:09 pace)
Apr. 2 – 8.40 miles (1:16:20, 9:05 pace)
Apr. 3 – 6.10 miles (1:06:46, 10:57 pace) - Hill Repeats
Apr. 4 – 6.40 miles (55:08, 8:37 pace) - Speed Work
Apr. 6 – 8.40 miles (1:14:08, 8:50 pace) - Tempo Run
Apr. 7 – 5.10 miles (45:37, 8:57 pace)
Apr. 8 – 9.10 miles (1:15:48, 8:20 pace)
Apr. 9 – 8.30 miles (1:15:21, 9:04 pace)
Apr. 10 – 6.20 miles (1:02:12, 10:02 pace) - Hill Repeats
Apr. 11 – 6.30 miles (55:15, 8:46 pace) - Speed Work
Apr. 13 – 8.30 miles (1:13:42, 8:53 pace) - Tempo Run
Apr. 15 – 8.20 miles (1:12:22, 8:50 pace)
Apr. 16 – 5.20 miles (47:03, 9:03 pace)

Total Miles:  108.7 miles
2017 Total Miles:  603.8 miles