On Being Jewish

When I run, I am always thinking about things other than running.  I think about what I have to do that day or any number of things that come to mind.  Lately I have been thinking a lot about my family and my faith.  I am not really sure why.  But it seems to come into my thoughts more often these days.  What seems to be at the forefront is that while I am Jewish, I am in the minority in my immediate family.  Other than my father, my wife and kids are the only Jewish members of our family.

As I reflect back on the path I took spiritually, I realized that I have always had a deep belief in G-d.  Not the meddlesome G-d some believe in who can solve all my problems and tell me what I should do when I reach a crossroads in life.  Instead I believe in a G-d who gave me a certain set of talents and put me on this earth to make the most out of what I have been given.  Therefore I think it is my job is to strive to always be the best I can be for my wife, children, family and friends.  While I know that I often fail at this, I continue to try and improve learning from my failings.

Recently I read an article written by Brook Wilensky-Lanford about her experience growing up in a mixed religious family.  One quote really struck me.  It was:

"When you grow up half-Jewish, you grow up knowing, viscerally, that it is possible to be more than one thing at time, even if those things are seemingly in conflict.  You always have one foot in and one foot out of the tribe." 

Up until I was 13 years old, I attended the United Methodist Church.  I can remember sitting in Sunday school classes (which I enjoyed) trying to reconcile the concept of the Trinity.  It was a concept that never really made sense to me.  When I look back on that time, I wonder if the Jewish half of me was trying to assert itself (albeit subconsciously).  What I learned later in life is that Jews do not believe in a trinity. The Jewish idea of G-d is that G-d is One and Indivisible. G-d cannot be divided up into separate parts, where each part is unequal to each of the other parts, yet somehow they are one and the same.

When my paternal Grandmother died in 1974, I started to question whether or not there was a G-d at all.  I could not comprehend how the G-d I believed in would allow such a beautiful soul to leave us.  My 13 year old mind had not yet come to understand that G-d doesn't interfere in each person's life.  It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I came to the realization that G-d is an impersonal force.  And that G-d does makes moral demands on us.  G-d is the pattern of nature.  And finally, G-d created the world but does not interfere in it.  Once I reconciled these personal truisms, I was able to finally recognize my spiritual path.

Why then did Ms. Wilensky-Lanford's statement stick with me.  It struck me because I found that hardest part of my decision to become a Jew was the fact that I felt I was turning my back on my Mother's side of the family.  I was worried that my conversion was going to make me into something altogether new.  I wondered whether my choice would force me never to discuss any or all of my fond memories of our family's holiday celebrations again.   Most importantly, I wondered if my Mother would be hurt or confused by my choice.  I did not want her to feel like I was abandoning her branch of our family tree by reconnecting the Jewish branch that had been stunted by my Father and his siblings none of who are currently practicing Jews.

I shouldn't have been worried at all.  My Mother was genuinely happy that I had found my spiritual connection.  I  think that we share the common belief that no one really truly knows the answer to the question of what or who G-d is.  We both see that each person may be following a different path but that we will all arrive at the same place.  I am not certain but I think that both of my parents were happy that I had found a spiritual home in Judaism.  I know that they respected my desire to give my children an unambiguous religious identity.  For my Father, my conversion allowed him to reconnect to his Jewish heritage abandoned so long ago.  Most importantly, both my parents and siblings seem to be  proud that I, my wife and children have lived our lives as Jews quite naturally. 

The one thing I wanted to do for my Mother and my in-laws was to allow them to share traditional holidays with my children.  I tried to make sure that while they might not understand everything the children do for the sake of their Judaism, we would never alienate them because of their lack of understanding of our rituals.  Instead, we included them in our Passover Seders, Shabbat dinners and sometimes even synagogue services.  My wife and I wanted to make sure that since our children will always have relatives that are Christian, they needed to grow up knowing and understanding what that means for them allowing them to be totally comfortable in any religious or spiritual environment.

Ms. Wilensky-Lanford is right.  As Jewish converts who raised our children in an interfaith family, my wife and I were able to infuse into our children the desire to actively choose to be Jewish and to make a conscious choice to share their faith with others.  At the same time they would always have "one foot in and one foot out of the tribe."  In a small way, our family is a microcosm of the changing world we Jews live in here in America.  We are blessed to live in a country where there are no longer social barriers that prevent Jews from being with non-Jews.  If we can open the doors and allow others to truly understand who we are and what we

believe, perhaps anti-Semitism and intolerance can be eliminated in this world.  Hopefully, we can be a light unto the nations showing that even in our differences we have so much in common.

Nov. 3 – 6.10 miles (59:32, 9:46 pace)

Nov. 4 – 6.20 miles (57:30, 9:16 pace)

Nov. 6 – 3.20 miles (29:05, 9:05 pace)

Nov. 8 – 8.10 miles (1:14:58, 9:15 pace)

Nov. 9 – 7.20 miles (1:08:28, 9:31 pace)

Nov. 10 – 5.10 miles (48:33, 9:31 pace)

Nov. 11 – 3.60 miles (39:14, 10:51 pace)

Nov. 13 – 6.20 miles (56:27, 9:06 pace)

Nov. 14 – 6.20 miles (52:42, 8:30 pace)

Nov. 15 – 8.20 miles (1:15:40, 9:14 pace)

Nov. 16 – 7.50 miles (1:13:04, 9:44 pace)

Nov. 17 – 6.20 miles (1:01:04, 9:51 pace)

Nov. 18 – 6.10 miles (56:40, 9:17 pace)

Nov. 20 – 7.10 miles (1:07:10, 9:28 pace)

Nov. 21 – 6.20 miles (58:55, 9:30 pace)

Nov. 22 – 6.30 miles (1:05:39, 10:20 pace)

Nov. 23 – 7.50 miles (1:11:56, 9:35 pace)

Total Miles:  107.0 miles

2014 Total Miles:  1,709.5 miles

The Long Run

As I was running the last half mile of my long run this weekend, I wondered when it truly became commonplace for me to go out and knock out an 8 miler with no trepidation and in fact love the challenge.  It is actually very simple.  I gradually increased my long runs as I moved up in my race distances.  

It wasn't until I decided to run my first half marathon that I started to run 8 to 10 milers regularly as I prepared for the race.  I distinctly remember  wondering if I could really run that far.   To take my mind off of my fear, I adopted the mantra, "one foot in front of the other until you are done."  It seemed to work.  Soon I was running more than 10 miles on a regular basis and started to love it.

Now 16 years later, I know that the the long run is the key work out in any distance runner's training regimen.  It is always my longest workout of the week.  I try to do it on the weekend when I have more time.  I am usually better rested on the weekend as well.  Looking back, I can remember during my training in 1998 how exciting it was to be consistently running further than I ever had run up to that point.  It felt great to go out there and set new personal bests in both time and distance.

At that time, I had learned that the long run should always be done at an “easy” pace.  As most runners know this is the pace where you can easily carry on a conversation throughout the run. My brother and I would do our long runs together when I was living in San Diego and we would talk the entire way solving all of the world's problems.  The time seemed to pass quickly making the runs seem almost effortless.  When I had to do a long run on my own, I would always bring my IPod and listen to music to help break up the monotony. 

Even though the long run is as much a mental challenge as a physical one, there are numerous benefits that you reap by logging those miles.  The biggest benefit is that you build your endurance both physically and mentally.  You learn to set your pace and gain stamina for those late miles.  As long as you run slow and steady you can teach your body to go the distance.  In the end, I have found so much satisfaction when I am able to finish the last mile or so feeling strong and like I could keep going forever.  It is at that point that I know I am well prepared for any race I am scheduled to run.

When my running friends ask me how far they should go on their long runs, I always respond that it depends on what you are training for.  When I trained for my first couple of marathons, I followed the advice of marathon training programs that called for at least one run of 22-23 miles. Once I found the Brooks-Hanson Marathon training program I found out that there was a better way.  (See my blog post dated June 14, 2009).  My longest runs would now be no more than 18 miles.  But I would be doing two longs runs on the weekend instead of one.  Regardless of which program you choose, your longest distance during your training for a half or full marathon shouldn't be more than 80% of the distance.  And remember, your last long run should occur no later than 3 weeks prior to race day.

The biggest mistake I made early on as a new distance runner was that I tried to do my long runs at a good pace close to my goal race pace.  This is about the worst thing I could have done.  It wasn't until I studied various training programs that I saw the consistent message that long runs are not meant to be done fast.  Instead I should have been doing tempo runs and interval training to build my speed. Long runs were to be completed at a slow steady pace.  What I learned is that a good long run pace should be 1-minute-per-mile slower than what I planned my race pace to be.  Alternately, if it is your first marathon or half marathon, you should run your long run 1-1 ½ minutes per mile slower than your current 10K race pace.  By running slow and steady, I was able to stay healthy and keep the risk of incurring an injury low.

Obviously I didn't just go out one day and run 10 miles.  Instead, I built up my endurance over time until I was able to comfortably run 8 miles.  Once I was able to do this consistently, I felt like I was able to take on the training necessary to run a half and then later a full marathon.  I followed the 10% rule.  The 10 percent rule states that to stay injury-free in training, never increase your mileage by more than 10 percent in any given week.  Obviously, you can tweak your long runs to fit your schedule and more importantly your body.  But whatever you choose to do, play it safe, listen to your body and increase your long run mileage slowly.  I have always pushed myself but I am fully cognizant of my limits.

Now here I am 16 years later and I have learned to love the long run. I can assure you I didn't always feel that way.  There were mornings that I would get up and look at my training chart to see the distance and dread the run.  Most of the time now I  am eager to do my long runs because I know that they are bringing me closer to my goals.   I remember reading a quote on another blog about why you should love the long run.  It truly expresses my feelings as well.  It said, "On days when you struggle with the long run, just remember how you will feel about yourself when you are done. I have never regretted going on a long run, or pushing myself to ‘keep going’. When I am through, I just revel in the fact that I did something great, and I am getting closer to being able to compete in an actual marathon race."

So my friends all I can say is run long because you want to and finish because you can. 

Oct. 20 – 6.10 miles (57:57, 9:30 pace)

Oct. 21 – 6.10 miles (56:36, 9:17 pace)

Oct. 23 – 6.10 miles (57:57, 9:30 pace)

Oct. 24 – 5.10 miles (47:55, 9:24 pace)

Oct. 25 – 7.10 miles (1:14:23, 9:11 pace)

Oct. 26 – 3.10 miles (29:37, 9:13 pace)

Oct. 27 – 6.10 miles (56:28, 9:15 pace)

Oct. 29 – 6.10 miles (57:45, 9:28 pace)

Oct. 30 – 4.20 miles (39:35, 9:25 pace)

Oct. 31 – 6.10 miles (56:33, 9:16 pace)

Nov. 1 – 8.10 miles (1:16:00, 9:23 pace)

Nov. 2 – 7.10 miles (1:07:43, 9:32 pace)

Total Miles:  71.5 miles

2014 Total Miles:  1,602.5 miles