Froggie Ted Distance Runner: On Being Jewish

When I run, I am always thinking about things other than running. I think about what I have to do that day or any number of things that come to mind. Lately I have been thinking a lot about my family and my faith. I am not really sure why. But it seems to come into my thoughts more often these days. What seems to be at the forefront is that while I am Jewish, I am in the minority in my immediate family. Other than my father, my wife and kids are the only Jewish members of our family.

As I reflect back on the path I took spiritually, I realized that I have always had a deep belief in G-d. Not the meddlesome G-d some believe in who can solve all my problems and tell me what I should do when I reach a crossroads in life. Instead I believe in a G-d who gave me a certain set of talents and put me on this earth to make the most out of what I have been given. Therefore I think it is my job is to strive to always be the best I can be for my wife, children, family and friends. While I know that I often fail at this, I continue to try and improve learning from my failings.

Recently I read an article written by Brook Wilensky-Lanford about her experience growing up in a mixed religious family. One quote really struck me. It was:

"When you grow up half-Jewish, you grow up knowing, viscerally, that it is possible to be more than one thing at time, even if those things are seemingly in conflict. You always have one foot in and one foot out of the tribe."

Up until I was 13 years old, I attended the United Methodist Church. I can remember sitting in Sunday school classes (which I enjoyed) trying to reconcile the concept of the Trinity. It was a concept that never really made sense to me. When I look back on that time, I wonder if the Jewish half of me was trying to assert itself (albeit subconsciously). What I learned later in life is that Jews do not believe in a trinity. The Jewish idea of G-d is that G-d is One and Indivisible. G-d cannot be divided up into separate parts, where each part is unequal to each of the other parts, yet somehow they are one and the same.

When my paternal Grandmother died in 1974, I started to question whether or not there was a G-d at all. I could not comprehend how the G-d I believed in would allow such a beautiful soul to leave us. My 13 year old mind had not yet come to understand that G-d doesn't interfere in each person's life. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I came to the realization that G-d is an impersonal force. And that G-d does makes moral demands on us. G-d is the pattern of nature. And finally, G-d created the world but does not interfere in it. Once I reconciled these personal truisms, I was able to finally recognize my spiritual path.

Why then did Ms. Wilensky-Lanford's statement stick with me. It struck me because I found that hardest part of my decision to become a Jew was the fact that I felt I was turning my back on my Mother's side of the family. I was worried that my conversion was going to make me into something altogether new. I wondered whether my choice would force me never to discuss any or all of my fond memories of our family's holiday celebrations again. Most importantly, I wondered if my Mother would be hurt or confused by my choice. I did not want her to feel like I was abandoning her branch of our family tree by reconnecting the Jewish branch that had been stunted by my Father and his siblings none of who are currently practicing Jews.

I shouldn't have been worried at all. My Mother was genuinely happy that I had found my spiritual connection. I think that we share the common belief that no one really truly knows the answer to the question of what or who G-d is. We both see that each person may be following a different path but that we will all arrive at the same place. I am not certain but I think that both of my parents were happy that I had found a spiritual home in Judaism. I know that they respected my desire to give my children an unambiguous religious identity. For my Father, my conversion allowed him to reconnect to his Jewish heritage abandoned so long ago. Most importantly, both my parents and siblings seem to be proud that I, my wife and children have lived our lives as Jews quite naturally.

The one thing I wanted to do for my Mother and my in-laws was to allow them to share traditional holidays with my children. I tried to make sure that while they might not understand everything the children do for the sake of their Judaism, we would never alienate them because of their lack of understanding of our rituals. Instead, we included them in our Passover Seders, Shabbat dinners and sometimes even synagogue services. My wife and I wanted to make sure that since our children will always have relatives that are Christian, they needed to grow up knowing and understanding what that means for them allowing them to be totally comfortable in any religious or spiritual environment.

Ms. Wilensky-Lanford is right. As Jewish converts who raised our children in an interfaith family, my wife and I were able to infuse into our children the desire to actively choose to be Jewish and to make a conscious choice to share their faith with others. At the same time they would always have "one foot in and one foot out of the tribe." In a small way, our family is a microcosm of the changing world we Jews live in here in America. We are blessed to live in a country where there are no longer social barriers that prevent Jews from being with non-Jews. If we can open the doors and allow others to truly understand who we are and what we

believe, perhaps anti-Semitism and intolerance can be eliminated in this world. Hopefully, we can be a light unto the nations showing that even in our differences we have so much in common.

Nov. 3 – 6.10 miles (59:32, 9:46 pace)

Nov. 4 – 6.20 miles (57:30, 9:16 pace)

Nov. 6 – 3.20 miles (29:05, 9:05 pace)

Nov. 8 – 8.10 miles (1:14:58, 9:15 pace)

Nov. 9 – 7.20 miles (1:08:28, 9:31 pace)

Nov. 10 – 5.10 miles (48:33, 9:31 pace)

Nov. 11 – 3.60 miles (39:14, 10:51 pace)

Nov. 13 – 6.20 miles (56:27, 9:06 pace)

Nov. 14 – 6.20 miles (52:42, 8:30 pace)

Nov. 15 – 8.20 miles (1:15:40, 9:14 pace)

Nov. 16 – 7.50 miles (1:13:04, 9:44 pace)

Nov. 17 – 6.20 miles (1:01:04, 9:51 pace)