Froggie Ted Distance Runner: What is my identity?

"In Judaism, we had 12 Tribes that went in 12 different directions, and went around the whole globe and acquired whole different cultural backgrounds that they brought with them as luggage when they migrated from place to place.

The Jewish mind is inquisitive. It wants to know about itself. We ask that question more than anybody else. I think. How does the world see me? How do I want the world to perceive me? What is my identity, as a Jew or as a human being?"

When I read the above in The Jewish Daily Forward it struck me that I too have an inquisitive mind and I have migrated from place to place. I don't subscribe to the thought that it is because I am Jewish. I suspect that there are many people in this world who wonder how the world views them as a human traveling on this big blue marble. I am constantly wondering how others see me. I hope that they see me as casually carefree. I also know that I have acquired different aspects of who I am from the many places that I have lived.

As I thought about what I want others to see, I realized that I simply want those around me to see me as a light-hearted person who always goes with the flow. I want to make others feel calm and relaxed without much effort. I would hope that my presence gives comfort to those around me. At the same time, I want people to know that when it comes to my work and career, I am serious and results oriented just not at the expense of others. I truly believe that a team of people who are aligned can do so much more than one individual.

As I try to define myself, I know that I send a clear message about who I am through my actions. Unfortunately, sometimes my actions don't always reflect my core values. I know that if my actions look hypocritical, then those around me will perceive me in that way. That is definitely not the way I want to be seen by others. I lead a fairly large group of people in my job. What I have learned over time is that if I don't stick to my own deadlines, forget prior commitments or do not show support to others on my team, then I am clearly not conveying that I am a leader who they can count on.

Despite the above, I cannot divorce myself from the fact that I am Jewish. In fact, I am a Jew by Choice. My father is Jewish and my mother is not. So when I chose to live my life as a practicing Jew, I went through a Conservative conversion education and process. One of the first things I learned was that Jews are very self reflective. In fact, Jewish tradition emphasizes the importance of self reflection every day. Part of our daily bedtime prayer includes an opportunity to examine the day, evaluating our actions and our interactions. While I don't recite the prayer, I take time each day to ask myself whether I was the best person I could be that day. I try to forget about any mistakes I made and pledge to try to improve in the future. Finally, I forgive others whom might have slighted, angered or antagonized me that day. This reflective time allows me to keep in touch with my inner self and to try and always be my best.

Jewish tradition recognizes that humans are not perfect. I am certainly not perfect. Our tradition tells us that each individual has the potential to engage in proper, caring and decent behavior. But we also have the potential to do wrong. These inclinations are known as “yetzer hatov” (inclination towards good) and “yetzer hara” (inclination towards evil). Obviously I try to always choose moral and good behavior. I try to perform acts of loving kindness toward others every chance I get. Most importantly, I try to take actions that support the world through mutual responsibility and compassion. This is why I am so proud of my support of Dana Farber. Each of us has to acknowledge that we have a choice. We are all individually accountable for our decisions. I choose to make a conscious effort to consider all of my actions thoughtfully and always reach towards hatov (the good).

If I can succeed in reaching towards the good, then I will be able to live up to the Jewish value of derech eretz. Derech eretz means to act with proper respect, consideration and kindness, and to always practice common decency. In Yiddish a person who lives up to this value is known as a “mensch”. A mensch is a particularly good person with the qualities one would hope for in a dear friend or co-worker. I don't consider myself a mensch. But I would hope that others might see me this way. It is an extremely high standard to live by. The reason it is so difficult is that a mensch is a person with strong character, dignity, and a sense of what is right, responsible, and decorous. Who wouldn't want to be considered a mensch.

Each day I try to get to know myself better. It is my belief that it will make me feel more comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully it will make me a better husband and parent. In the end whether others see me as a mensch probably doesn't matter. I just need to be the best me that I can be. Besides, I can never be something I am not. No matter how hard I try the real Ted will come out eventually. As long as I can stay true to who I am and continue to take time each day for self reflection, I will be a better person to all who come in contact with me.

June 15 – 5.10 miles (44:44, 8:46 pace)

June 16 – 6.20 miles (57:03, 9:12 pace)

June 18 – 6.20 miles (58:39, 9:28 pace)

June 19 – 6.10 miles (53:35, 8:47 pace)

June 20 – 7.10 miles (1:06:02, 9:18 pace)

June 21 – 7.10 miles (1:06:11, 9:19 pace)

June 22 – 5.20 miles (45:25, 8:44 pace)

June 23 – 6.20 miles (56:43, 9:09 pace)

June 25 – 6.20 miles (58:37, 9:22 pace)

June 26 – 5.10 miles (48:25, 9:22 pace)

June 27 – 8.10 miles (1:14:35, 9:12 pace)

June 28 – 6.10 miles (1:04:05, 10:30 pace)